DAMIEN: Sophie, couldyou come in here, please?
Yes, Damien?
DAMIEN: I've been thinking that we've
become rather stale recently.
We haven't really producedany truly interesting
titles for some time.
We need some new blood.
Did you have anyone in mind?
DAMIEN: I was rather hoping you might.
How about Peter Gibbons?
DAMIEN: I don't think so.
Jason Murray?
DAMIEN: Too arty.
Tim Bisley. DAMIEN: Bisley?
Why do I know that name?
SOPHIE: He came in last year.
You laughed him out of the office.
He had blonde hair, small ears.
DAMIEN: Oh, yes.
Bisley, that's right.
I remember his work now--
all muscles and guns--
most amusing.
Give him a ring, will you, Sophie?
Get me his portfolio.
OK.
I think it's time we gaveyoung Mr. Bisley another shot.
I'll be there.
You idiot.
Morning, flatmate.
Coffee and "Kilroy"?
No, thanks.
Tea and "Trisha"? - No.
What's the matter?
Why are you scrimmaging around?
You're making me nervous.
- Sophie from Darkstar called.- Sophie.
Yeah.
Damien Knox wants to see my portfolio again.
Sophie.
No, Damien Knox.
He's the head of Darkstar Comics.
He wants to see my portfolio again.
I am a little bit nervous.
God, wow.
He wants to see your portfolio?
God, what a break.
That's brilliant, Tim.
Is it, Daisy?
Yeah, yeah.
God, well done.
That's excellent. Yeah.
Really good. Well done, you.
Well done.
What's that?
Dunno.
It's coming from upstairs.
Maybe it's Marsha.
Maybe it's Mike.
Maybe it's Mike and Marsha.
Ready to go again, soldier?
Cock locked and ready to rock.
Have you got anythingspecial planned for today?
I have got with a project, actually.
I'm going to be as inactive asI can in order to really get
into the psych of someone who's,say, unemployed-- not just
vocationally but cerebrally-- to see
if the predicament of enforced passivity
actually exacerbates itself.
You know, does inactivitybreed laziness?
Oh, right.
Are you going to write an article about it?
No, I can't be bothered.
I'm not really a prayingman, and I never really ask you
for much, so if you could just see
your way clear to helping me today,
I would be really, really grateful.
Thank you very much.
Amen.
I'm a massive wanker.
It's all right.
It's my messenger.
That's weird. - What?
There's nobody there.
Oi, oi!
You lucky people.
BOTH: Oh, hi, Tyres.
I understand you two herefriends wanted to talk to me.
Yeah, I was just wondering ifyou could run my portfolio over
to Darkstar for me?
Oh, I see.
You don't call me forweeks, and all of a sudden,
you want a favor.
That's nice, that is.
Do you know the last time I seen you,
you said you wished that I was your da,
and you hugged me for the entirelength of the Acid Tweekin'
Funk mix of Josh Wink's "HigherState of Consciousness,"
and now you want me to ferryaround your art for you?
Yes, please.
OK.
By the way, you owe me 20 quid.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
And how are you, mylittle pocket Shakespeare?
Come up with any excitingliterary characters lately?
Yes, actually, yes.
Daisy Steinway.
I like it.
What is she, some sort ofcrime-busting jazz singer?
No, actually.
It's the name I'm using to sign on.
You want to get up off yourarse and get yourself a job,
Daisy, or whatever your name isn't?
Nice hair, by the way.
Thank you, man.
Cheers.
Now, my livelihood is in here, OK?
So guard it with your life.
As ever.
Youse coming out at the weekend?
Oh, I'm a bit strapped for cash, actually.
You couldn't lend me 20 quid, could you?
Yeah, sure.
Great.
What's that noise?
Um, we don't know.
I like it.
Right.
Well, you better get off.
That's got to be there by 11 o'clock.
Right you are, sir. Do you know something?
I've got a good feeling about this parcel.
Yeah, well, you know.
Hopefully, things might start going my way.
You know what it's like, son.
It's all in front of you like a wheelbarrow.
Door, please, Timmy.
TYRES: Da-da-da-da-da.- That was close.
He nearly went disco on us there.
What is that noise?
I don't know.
I'm not going to find out.
All right.
Can you tell Mike that I, uh, I need him?
DAISY: What for?
No reason.
I just-- I need him.
WOMAN : Yeah?
Can you feel it in your butt?
That's good.
DAISY: Marsha?
Oh, come in, kitten.
It's open.
WOMAN : One, two, down, two, one--
Morning, Daisy.
Oh, hey, Mike.
Nice outfit.
Thanks.
Uh, Tim wants you.
Wants me or needs me?
Uh, needs you.
Right.
Ladies.
So what are you up to, Marsha?
Oh.
This show's an old fitnessvideo, "Fun for Europe."
Mike reckons I got between 15 and 20
years to find hubby number three,
and I want to look my best.
Hey, why don't you come for a jog with me?
Oh, no, no.
Oh, come on.
It'll be fun.
Get off your ass.
Get the adrenaline pumping.
No, and I shouldn't do sport of any kind.
I'm actually allergic to endorphins.
I get very competitive.
Anyway, who wants to looklike these people, you know?
They're at the gym all day, go to some premier
in a low-cut dress to get onthe cover of some magazine.
You know, what kind of a life is that?
I'm happy right where I am.
Where is it?
Where's what?
There was a picture on thesofa of a man with a white eye
saying, I am a massive wanker.
Where is it?
And don't say that you putit in my portfolio, OK?
Because if you did, I cannot begin to describe
the damage you may have done.
- Well, I-- - Listen, Daisy.
You want this to be easy.
You're amongst friends. - I just--
- You just what? - Come on, Daisy.
What you done with it?
Did you put in my portfolio?
I put it in a portfolio.
What?
I put it in your portfolio.
What?
Did she just say what I think she said?
- She put it in my portfolio!- What?
Well, I thought you'd forgotten about it.
I was just trying to help.- Yeah.
Well, that was a picture of a man who
is just about to decide whether or not
I work for Darkstar Comics!
Are you beginning to see why I left it out?
Yes. Yes.
And I'm sorry.
I was just trying to help.- Well, don't!
If you're going to helpanybody, get off your ass
and help yourself.
Why does everybody keep talking about my ass?
Mike, come on.
We've got to try and stop Tyres.
Don't worry, Daisy.
Tim's just really angry at you because you've
jeopardized his future, OK?
I was just trying to help!
God.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
You all right, kitten?
Yes!
Sure you don't want to come for a jog?
Yes.
You got work to do?
No.
What you going to dothen, sit around the house
waiting for Tim to come home?
I'll get my plimsolls.
Is Brian there?
Wha-- why are you dressed like that?
Just thought you might like to come for a run.
Might ease your frustration.
What frustration?
TWIST: Why, Brian?
I happen to like going out.
It's important for me to be seen out.
BRIAN: Yeah, well, I don't want to go out.
I want to stay in.
TWIST: I wanna have sex.
BRIAN: Yes.
TWIST: That's all you ever want to do.
I'm not just here for one thing, you know.
I want you too see me as a whole.
BRIAN: I do.
TWIST: A whole, Brian, with a W.
BRIAN: Oh.
Just thought you might like a jog.
No. Can't.
Mum's coming to town.
We're going to go out for lunch.
MARSHA: Is that whyyou're dressed like that?
She thinks I'm a lawyer.
MARSHA: Bloody hell.
I thought I knew all your little secrets.
No wonder you're so tense.
Come on!
What is the hold up?
There's been an accident.
Somebody got hurt.
Who?
A lady.
How do you know?
Because we hit her.
Did we?
Yeah, that's her there.
Ah!
What the hell do you think you're doing?
It's broad bloody daylight!
You people have noconsideration for cyclists.
Pardon?
What the hell do you think you're doing?
It's broad bloody daylight!
You people have noconsideration for cyclists.
All right.
What's your problem?
- You all right, then, kitten?- Yeah.
Think you can go on?
Yeah.
Come on.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure, sure.
I fear that's not going to happen.
Because he's a small fish ina big pond, and I'm a big, uh,
shark. Yes.
Yeah. OK, then.
Goodbye. Yeah.
Bye.
Hi, Mum.
Oh, hello, love.
Shall we go?
Aren't we going in?
No, I've got the buildersin there making up the wall.
I know a very good place to eat.
DAISY: This is all right, is it?- Yeah.
What did I tell you?
Yeah, it's actually quite fun.
Oh, shit.
There he is.
Tyres!
Ah!
What brought you to me, lad?
Tyres,don't deliver that parcel.
Why?
Cause there's somethingthere I don't want him to see.
What, paperclips?
No.
Where's my portfolio?
I delivered that about a half an hour ago.
No!
You get it?
Nice outfit.
Thanks.
Tim Bisley's portfolio has arrived, Damien.
Right.
Actually--
--I'll look at it after lunch.
Yeah, but couldn't we just go up and get it?
Sorry, man.
Not even I can get in the upper reaches.
See, our parcel's left at reception, right,
and then picked up by in-house personnel.
- Damn. - Damn.
But they must let some people up there.
- Not without an appointment.- Shit.
Shit.
Then how the hell are wegoing to get my picture back?
Mike, any ideas?
Tyres?
Yeah, but we're going toneed another walkie-talkie.
Or two.
Yeah, can I have a largehalf-caff frappuccino,
please, with whipped creamand marshmallow dunkers?
Thank you.
Mum?
Uh, yes.
I'll have one of those, too.
When in Rome.
So how is everything?
Good.
- How's Twist? - It's good, good.
You know, she's out of town.
Can't wait to meet her.
Very busy.
Well, fashion is bigbusiness these days, Brian.
I mean, you know that.
Oh.
Are they friends of yours?
No, I've never-- never seen them.
Brian?
What is it?
Sorry?
What is it?
Me again.
I can see that.
Third time today.
Have you got something to deliver?
Well, I was just thinking, right,
I'm getting a bit long inthe tooth as a cycling lark,
you know? And see the old pins?
They ain't what they used to be.
What's your point?
Well, I was wondering what it was
like to be a security guard.
You know, I've always fancied them myself.
I really look up to people like you.
Hm. Do you?
Yeah.
How do you get to be like you?
Well, tell you what, giveus your name and address,
and I'll send you all you need to apply.
Would you?
Yeah, sure.
Why not?
Brilliant.
All right, my name's Henry Krinkle--
K-R-I-N-K-L-E-- 154 Hopper Avenue.
GUARD: Hopper? - Yeah, yeah, Hopper.
Oh, ow, oh, ow.
Ah!
Oh.
Oh, wait.
Stop!
Who does he think he is--
Bob bloody Kid?
Tell him I make moremoney pimping his grandma.
So how's Dad?
Oh, you know yourfather-- frustrated as ever.
He's taken up art classes.
What?
Yes.
Well, I think he'd always fancied
himself as a bit of an artist.
Of course, he keeps it to himself.
We always hoped you might goin for that sort of thing.
You were so good at it at school.
It might have given you something
to talk about with your father.
Mum.
What, love?
There's something I should tell you.
What is it?
TIM: This is it--
fourth floor.
You ready, Mike?
MIKE: I was born ready, Timmy.
Yeah, but you ready now?
- Um, yeah. - OK.
All we've got to do is getthe picture back and not
get caught.
How hard can that be?
Yeah, yeah.
Tell Stan I'll speak to him later--
after I put Bisley out of his misery.
Some kind of care.
TIM: There it is.
Shit. - Is it locked?
No, I was joking.
Oh.
What are we going to do?
Uh, there.
Whoa.
Ventilation shaft.
Simple and classic.
Oh.
I can't believe this, Brian.
I'm sorry, Mum.
Why?
Well, you know, I justthought you'd be disappointed.
But that's so silly.
Me and your dad, we don't mind what you do,
so long as you're not gay.
I bet you made up Twist, as well.
I should have known.
I mean, what sort of name is Twist?
No, she-- she's real.
Well, that's something.
So you're an artist.
Yep.
What sort of thing do you do?
Um, anger.
Pain.
Ow.
Fear.
Aggression.
Watercolors?
Do you go clubbing much?
No.
Do a lot of night work. - Ha ha.
I love night work.I'm usually up till all hours.
Mm.
Speeding through the night?
Yeah, something like that.
Some kind of care.
OK.
Stay out so that if anybodycomes, warn me on the walkie.
Roger.
TIM: Let's go.
Some kind of care.
How's your knee?
I'll live.
My teeth hurt.
Oh, wish I hadn't started this now.
I'm sorry, Marsha, but I did warn you.
It was the same with netball at school.
I remember playing afriendly in the upper sixth.
I played goal attack, and I hada real rivalry with a goalie
on the other team.
She was called Nina.
I remember the goal shooter took a shot.
And it was obvious Nina was going to save.
So I did what I had to do.
I saved the game.
But I lost a lot of friends.
I just shouldn't exercise.
It's not just bad for me,it's bad for everybody.
MARSHA: I don't know.
I'm really beginning tofeel the benefit now, yeah.
Come on.
Let's fuck off home.
I wonder if Tim's back.
What's Colin looking at?
Where's he off to?
Oh, my god.
So when did you decideto become an artist, then?
I think it was when the dog died.
Oh, you never did get over that, did you?
DAISY: Colin!
Colin!
Pom-pom!
Not again.
DAISY: Colin!
Daisy!
OK.
SOPHIE: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Oooh. Um.
Well, I, uh, I was--
I was just--
Looking for this?
Yes.
Yes, I-- yeah.
Um, I-- I had to get it back, you see,
'cause, I mean, if-- if-- ifMr. Knox saw it, then it, uh--
Wouldn't really do you any favors, would it?
No, no, no, no.
Um, how are you, Sophie?
Fine, thanks.
Good.
Sorry.
I-- I forgot you worked here.
Really?
MIKE : Tim.
That girl you fancy's coming in to the office.
Thanks, Mike.
How's Damien?
I'm sorry.
You just ran out in front of me.
I know you.
You're a massive wanker.
I said I was sorry.
I've had enough of this caping.
That is too bloody dangerous.
Well, if people will insiston throwing themselves in front
of cars, what do you expect?
She could sue you, you know?
For what?
Dangerous driving.
Bloody hell.
You're not a lawyer, are you?
No, he's an artist.
SOPHIE: Here's your picture.
Uh, thanks.
I think I'll keep this one, though.
Yes, yeah, fine.
It was nice to see you again, Tim.
Well, you're nice, too.
N-- n-- it was nice to see you, too.
Tim?
Yes?
What are you doing on Friday?
What?
Would you like to go outfor a drink with me on Friday?
Yeah.
Great.
I'll give you a ring.
OK.
See you Friday.
You get it?
That's not all I got.
Leave the coffee.
No, never been to Albeta.
Ah, you should go, mate.
Yeah.
Went to Gran Canaria this year.
I've got some pictures, actually.
What the f--?
The cat is out of the bag.
Repeat, the cat is out of the bag.
BOTH: Shit.
He's taking the stairs. Take the lift.
He's taking the stairs.
Take the lift.
BOTH: Shit.
Bisley.
Hi.
Well, well.
You're keen, aren't you?
Haven't had a chance tolook over your stuff yet.
Oh, that's all right.
It's--
Everything all right, Wallace?
Sorry, sir.
I thought I saw some unauthorized personnel
on the monitor.
I haven't seen anybody.
All right.
I'll, uh, I'll get back my desk then.
Hello, Mike. - Hello, Wallace.
- What are you doing here?- Oh, I'm here with Tim.
Oh, right.
You coming to cheer on Saturday?
Oh, yes.
Stealth and tactics weekend.
I wouldn't miss it.
I have an idea for an infiltration technique.
It involves draining a man of his blood
and replacing it with Tizer.
Oh, that sounds great. Yeah.
Look forward to that. See you Saturday.
Yeah. Right on.
Sir.
Yes, right.
Good to see you looking so enthusiastic, Bisley.
I'll let you know either way.
Thanks, Mr. Knox.
Damien.
Thanks, Damien.
Nice outfit.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, he's nice, isn't he?
TYRES: So you happy?
Oh, really happy.
Right there.
Mine's a pint of the black stuff.
You can't drink a pint of Bovril.
What do you think?
Very good.
Very good, indeed.
Schedule him in for a meeting next Tuesday.
I think we're going to be seeinga lot of young Mr. Bisley.
Oi, oi.
- Hello. - Hi.
Listen, um, I've got that picture back.
That's-- that's not all he got.
Mike.
Well, I got off me ass.
- Oh, did you? - Yeah.
And what happened?
I bumped into a friend of yours.
- Really? - Yeah.
Well, why don't you tell me all about it?
What, my ass?
Yeah, if you like.
Where's Tyres?